Making a New - New Year's Tradition

What if you could take your emotional baggage on a trip, to find that when you land, and when you arrive at baggage claim to pick it up, that it magically disappeared. Got lost in transit. Where did it go? Never to be found or to enter your life again? Would you care?

This week I flew home to visit my family, and last night we had a family dinner and get together of roughly 30 of us. It was something I so needed. Honestly, I didn't want it to end as fast as it did. I often regret having moved away from home. Missing all my nieces and nephews having kids. Getting to know their kids as well as getting to know them, my siblings and my parents better.

A week before I left home, I thought to myself. What if they ask me to pray before dinner. I had this beautiful & wonderful prayer all thought out, about despite our hardships, we thank God for all the blessings he has given us. For giving us a family that cares & loves each other as much as we do Him, Prayer to heal us, to give us peach & freedom from suffering and pain in our lives, Etc.....

Never did I think that I would actually be asked to Pray. But I was asked and as usual, as I started praying, I got nervous and flubbed it all up.

I hated it. I sounded so stupid. Why can't I just get over this praying in front of others thing. I always fear that I won't sound eloquent enough. I put so much pressure on myself that it just doesn't come out the way I wish it had. To have it flow out of my mouth effortless, meaningful, touching others hearts & souls & touching them with a thought or inkling of the Love of God; right in that moment. Part of me also wanted them to know, that Look. I have changed. I am a man of God. You can now believe that it is true. I am no longer the lost person I once was.. But I digress...


So I wake up from a dream that really horrified me at 3AM and couldn't go back to sleep for fear that it would come back. And then the thoughts on this post kept running through my head, weighed heavy on my heart and I had to share them, and as many times in the past, God keeps nudging me to stay awake and write out my thoughts before they are lost. Thank goodness for naps. :)

The thing about my prayer is;  it is now in the past. I can't change it. It is done and it is over. Forget about it and move on. 364 days ago, I decided to give part of my past to God, to forget about it and to move on. I asked Him to take my alcohol and smoking addiction completely away. I was using it to escape and cope with my anger at how religion had treated me, and for Who I was (a gay man) and thinking that I was going to hell for it. Being mad at God for making me this way. And amazingly I woke up One Year Ago today, my cravings for it, and my guilt about being gay and being angry with God and religion was done. It was finished.

Matthew 11:28New Living Translation (NLT)

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

I have been thinking about the many friends who have come into my life, in the last few months. Those in my Bible Study Group and even those in my family, who are suffering. Something in their lives that is holding them back from moving forward and onward. Throwing them in addictions that they just can't break. Something, maybe even that they themselves are holding over their own head that they just can't let go of.

Escaping into alcohol, drugs or some other coping mechanism to escape whatever it is that is holding them hostage. I get it.. I have been there. Believe it or not, We have all been there and still are at times. If he can forgive me of the horrifying, degrading and putrid things that I have done, He can most certainly forgive you.

If its a loss of someone or something. I understand. It stinks, it's not fair and it hurts deep and hard. Life isn't ever fair. I am not saying get over it, but we do need to move on somehow. Life is moving forward and we have things that need to be done and need to be taken care of, and we can't do that if we keep holding on to the past. Holding onto our baggage, holding on to the thoughts of the idiotic things we do and the terrible ways that we treat each other. We are human. We were born into this sin nature that takes our lives and makes us to stupid things.

Some people find it hard to believe that God is a loving father. Their role models of a father or even their mother has not been pleasant. So that thought of God, our Father being loving is skewed to say the least. But let me be clear before I ask you to take this next step. Our true Father; God, is nothing but love. He is not angry at you. He does not hate you. He never leaves you. He is and will always be there to pick you up.
If you are reading this post and it speaks directly to you. You being stuck in the past and can't let it go. I ask you to do something right this very minute. And take it seriously. Maybe it would help to have a Christian friend there with you.

Turn off your TV, your phone, your radio, and all the sounds around you. Cut out all the distractions. Now sit in your favorite chair, sit on your couch or even on the floor. Wherever you are the most comfortable and feel at peace. Now close your eyes and Imagine that your best friend, your best buddy; God or Jesus (whichever makes you most comfortable) is sitting right next to you; face to face; with both of his hands holding yours. What is he saying to you?

If he is telling you that you are a failure, a loser, you will never amount to anything, you are worthless... THAT IS NOT GOD, NOR IS IT JESUS. That my friends is Satan, sitting there as if he is God. Did he trick you? That's what he does and that's what he is best at. Trying to imitate God and trap you in his snare. Not even he can be happy with his own identity. He is the one trying to hold you hostage. He is the liar, the deceiver and the voice in your head that wishes to weigh you down in heavy chains of burden and guilt. So heavy that you can't get free to move any further ahead. Speak to him and tell him in the name of Jesus Christ, that he is not welcome here anymore. Tell him to get up and leave your home. Get mad at him until he gets up and walks out that door. That chair and your space is only open to God. Now that he is gone. Never mention his name again. He is done and he is finished.

Now imagine the true God sits down. He reaches over to you and places his hands, gently on each side of your face, lovingly he forces you to look into his eyes. Then he places his hands on your shoulders, looking you eye to eye, and He say's to you, "I Love You", "I know everything you have done. It doesn't matter". Then he starts stroking the back of your head and pulls you into him and holds you. Placing your head on his shoulder, He puts his arms around you and He says, "It's all in the past. You are my forever child. Nothing you have done, or said, or thought. Nothing that you will ever do will affect our relationship. I love you. You are forgiven. All those things you have done. All those things that others have said to you. All the ways that others have tore you down. All the ways that you can't forgive yourself. My child, Its all in the past. Neither you or I can change that. So let it go. Gather all your baggage, All the dead weight, all your heavy burdens and hand them over to me. They are no longer your burdens to carry, they are mine to deal with now. Never to be seen or heard of again. I died so that you could live. So you could live free of all the mistakes and failures that you think you have created or done. You are human. I made you perfect. I knew all that you would do even before you were even born. Yet despite all of that and this. I CHOSE YOU. I chose you to be a child of God. I Love You. Just as you are and right where you are at. LET IT GO. I am your real and true father. My Love is all you need".


God is telling you to forget the past. You can't change it. Don't let anyone or anything disqualify you from God's love or even from loving yourself. God forgives, so that you may life.

I know it is hard. Trust me. I still struggle with things that I did yesterday or the day before. But I forget about it. I sincerely cry to God and ask him to forgive me and I move on and move forward in my walk with Him.

I am sincerely asking you, begging you and pleading with you to make this change. This is what changed my life. I know that you may have been hurt by religion. But remember, religion is made up of people. It's not religion that hurt you. It's people. It's not God that hurt you, It was people. It was the devil and his minions. You will always be hurt by people. Even Christians. People hurt people, even when it was not meant to hurt you. That's our past baggage welling up inside of us again.
But I urge you. Find a church. One that fits you. None of them will be perfect, and it my take visiting quite a few before you find one that fits. My fit was one that was non-denominational. I didn't want to fit in the box of Lutheran, Mormon, Catholic, Protestant, etc.. on and on. I already have a label that is given to me "Gay".
I don't need another one.

I am a Christian. A follower of Jesus. I don't need a denomination telling me how to live or what rules to follow. That is not what it is about. Man made most of the rules. The Jews came up with 613 commandments. :'( Not God. Who do you know that can even follow the 10 commandments that God did give us, let alone 613? Even God knows that we can't keep his 10. Why do you think that Jesus had to die and shed his blood for us?

So find a church. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE FIXED BEFORE YOU GO TO CHURCH. Go to church first. Right where you are. Be honest and up front with people. If you need help or prayer. ASK FOR IT. If they are true followers of Jesus, they will talk you thru it. they may want to spend time with you. They will pray for you. Going to church, learning the Bible (join a bible study group) this is what will fix you. It will be a slow process.

Psalm 34:18 Living Bible (TLB)

The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking; he rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins.
 

It took me a year to break the alcohol and smoking addiction. One year later I am still dealing with other things. If you have been following my blog, you know what those are. One day.. I will break those chains that are holding me down as well. Hopefully with this 40 day challenge those will be broken off.

Here is another challenge, and I wrote about this exactly one year ago. In the Bible, 40 days is talked about often. And it always has to do with testing or judgement. It is usually the length of time necessary to accomplish some major part of God's plan.
New Year's day is just about 40 days away. On day number 1 of the new year, most of us make resolutions to change. But last year, I made a new resolution. On New Years day, I want to be able to celebrate change, not start it. So last year I started the 40 day challenge. My challenge last year was to never again pick up another drink with alcohol in it or another cigarette. I gave in on each once during that time, but the instant they hit my lips. I tossed it. Never to touch them again this entire year. It is finished.

This year is a new challenge. And when I get back home from visiting my family, the New Year will be 43 days away. I will fast for most likely a week, possibly more and praying earnestly to God to forgive me and to change me. For his will to be done in me.
I ask that you look deep within yourself. Are you happy in your current life? Is your life getting any better without God, Jesus or church in it? Have you listened to all the things religion has stuffed down your throat that is a complete and utter lie? Is your pattern of life making you happy or plain miserable?

My life has been so much better since I found God. Since I found church. Since I joined a Bible Study Group and am learning what Christ really is about. You won't find out the truth from TV or the news, or non-christians.

John 8:32New International Version (NIV)

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

My life has only gotten better. It took me decades to figure that out. Don't let decades pass you by.. Do it now. Make this year truly a year of change for you. The change that truly matters. Not the change that matters to others. Stop worrying about what others think of you and focus on what God wants for you. He is the only thing that will matter in the scope of things now and when you are gone from this earth.

The beauty is that God loves us so much that he gives us the free will to choose, but we are not free from the consequences of our choice.

Place Your Life Before God

Romans 12:2The Message (MSG)

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

It's Not the Title that's Important! Is it?

Titles can be important. The title of a blog (which I am not good at), a news article, A Title at work, but as Religion always seems to be the opposite of what we know; Is a title at church a good thing?

I have been trying to deal with an issue that because I am Gay, I am hoping for something that I can quite possibly never have or attain.

I am wholly accepted for who I am at church and shown nothing but love and respect. I serve the church weekly in many ways, and I am always readily available to help out or step in whenever or wherever needed. I get so much joy out of it. Besides, It just feels right in serving and helping others as well as God. It is always good for the soul to chip in.

When we go the extra mile where we work, we want a pat on the back. A thank you from someone. Words of praise. We expect something for it. We want promotions and titles. But at church. I don't expect it nor do I really need it, but then lately my pride starts getting in the way. Not for the serving, but for what has been offered and what has been taken away.

I was told a few months ago that although I am hosting a bible study group in my home once a week, that I can't be the leader. Even though nobody in this group is willing to step up and lead. That because I have a same sex partner, I won't be allowed or even considered by the church to lead the group. Now mind you. I don't really want to lead the group either, but I also don't want the group to stop, so I offered.

Yes my partner and I sleep in the same bed (huge King Size by the way) usually with dogs or pillows in between us and we have been non-sexual for over 10 years. So you would think that it wouldn't be an issue to always be used against me. But I am told, "Well if you sleep in the same bed, the temptation is too much". Really? So the decade that we have shared a bed and haven't hardly even touched isn't enough? I struggle more with thoughts of having sex outside of my relationship. Just so I can touch and be touched. I know.. what a stupid statement and an oxymoron.

Funny how in the Bible, God talks about how it is better to be single, but if a man or woman can't control themselves, then they should marry and that you shouldn't leave your marriage. So the very high divorce rate within church isn't an issue for leadership? The singles with significant others isn't a problem? Are they honest about their sexual relationship? Yes.. I could lie about it, but I won't.

1 Corinthians 7:8-11The Message (MSG)

^8-9 I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

^10-11 And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.

Pardon me for being blunt. My usual anger is starting to come out and show. But it must be nice to be able to have a God sanctioned marriage so because you can't control yourself, you can marry, and have someone to help with your urge. Someone to experiment with. Someone who can hold you, cuddle you and touch you with full on love.

I don't think that most people in the church realize just how hard it is to lead a whole life being celibate. A life of not being held. A life not being able to share with someone you care for or vice versa. Also while trying not to masterbate,  watch porn, to get relief from the strong urges and demons that continually corrupt your mind. Trying to live a life suppressing that your entire lifetime. Let's be honest here. I am sorry, but the saying that God is all that you need is a lie. If that were true, then we all would be okay just being single and celibate.

Heterosexuals can tell me 24/7 that they understand. But you don't. I can't have a child that is biologically both a part of me and my partner. I can't have God sanction my partnership. Yes. I can get married. But it will be looked down on by not only Christians but by God. And all those that I would want to invite to see me married wouldn't come just for the mere fact it is a Gay wedding. I could go on and on. And stop telling Gay people and Gay couples that they must be celibate or leave their relationship. I am pretty sure the blood of Jesus can handle that. You aren't doing any of them favors and you aren't bringing anyone to God or staying with God telling them otherwise. Better to remind yourself that you got married for a reason. Because even you yourself couldn't control yourself. How heavy is that log in your eye now?

So you ask. Why do you and your partner even stay together? Why not just end your relationship and move on? Just like a heterosexual couple, we made a commitment to stay with each other thru thick and thin, and quite honestly, I need someone in my life who cares for me, whom I care for. Someone to share moments and life with.

Sorry God, but I cannot and will not be alone. I have to have faith that the blood covers me. Why is it that the Gay man or women are excluded from the same sanctioning from God as the heterosexual. Also to be excluded from everything else in life that God says they can enjoy. And to be even more frank. I know for a fact that without my partner in my life, I would go back to drinking, probably smoking, daily porn, possibly anonymous sexual encounters and would probably not attend church much at all. I am not as strong as some of you may be.

I fully believe that God places us all with where we are at and whom we are with. Every person I have met, or left has gotten me to where I am at today. Without my partner, as I have said many times, I am not quite sure I would have come back to God. We helped each other to make that mutual decision two years ago.

1 Corinthians 7:17 The Message (MSG)
¹⁷ And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.

So I was told that I can't be a leader of my home group, but now am being asked if I want to be a leader of another team within the church. Which requires a one on one meeting to discuss first. I have much trepidation and angst about the whole thing as I know that I am going to be asked to change my relationship in order to do so. Which is fully known that I won't do that. So why would they even ask? It's quite upsetting. Why are you setting me up for major disappointment. Have I not dealt with enough of that in my life as a gay person.  I really want the title of leader, and part of me says its just Pride getting in the way. Another part of me says that it could be a major lesson for a lot of people within the church. Funny thing is... it's not really much of a leadership position as most of them are.. It's really a minor leadership. But it is a stepping stone.

I have been told, have felt and its funny that I ran into a sermon today that mentioned that a title means nothing. It's just our pride. We always want to have our name in lights. To be seen by others as being special. Being someone important. I don't need a title to lead in the church. Nor do I need a title to minister, disciple, encourage others, to pray with or for others, nor do I need the title to inspire others. I can do all of that without the need of a title. I have felt that I am being told to just be humble. To turn down the offer and just be me. To not get caught up in it all. All that is small potatoes to what is in store for me.

It does still bother me that within the church, it is always about what man wants. Its not about what God wants. There are no conditions on the Grace and mercy of God, yet those conditions are always placed on me as a Gay man.

I strongly feel that me being a leader would be a major plus within the church. I think it would be saying that we don't just talk the talk, but we walk the walk. When we say that we accept all that we mean it. I feel as though others who are struggling with forgiveness would look at me, as a Gay man in leadership and think to themselves, "If the gay man can be forgiven, accepted and be a man of God, then how much more am I forgiven and accepted for the things that I have done".

Besides. It's not my business what the single heterosexuals do or don't do in their bedroom. Neither is it your business. Why being Gay is just associated with we are always having sex just boggles my mind. I don't assume that you are always having sex and I really don't care to know. I am a human. An individual. By being defined as gay does not mean that I am a pervert. Get over it already please.

Now don't get me wrong. I see their side as well. There have been a few gay people in our church before we arrived. But we are the first couple. And our leaders are trying to fit that in and tread lightly. And I don't blame them. I can totally see and understand their side of things as well. Trust me. I get that others within the church might also see me as a leader and would create a lot of angst within the church. Another reason why I believe I need to choose to just step back and humbly accept my position. Just to be who I am. Everyone seems to be fine with who I am. And I have received many praises from others that I inspire them for all that I do, and how I am always available.

I am pretty sure that I am not the only one dealing with this. I bet that every single one of you whom is Gay has experienced this.
How do you get past it or deal with it?

I just need to remember to Glorify God for all that He has done for me and for who He is. That my true title is an heir to His kingdom and a true child of God. That His blood covers me and my stupidity. That I just need to keep plugging along in service, in faith and in love for all others.

For the Love of God!

Recently, as most of us have gone through, I have two dear friends, who believe God has been telling them, "You are Worthless", "You can never be forgiven for the terrible things you have done", "You aren't fit to be human", "There is just no way that you can be saved". Things such as these, DO NOT come from God. These are the things we pile up on ourselves and are things that simply put, come from Satan's lies.

Thankfully for these two friends, we see each other more then just once a week and also are in home study group together, in which we have been studying the book of Romans. Just finishing up on Chapter 8 and 9. Reiterating to them and us, just how vast God's love for us truly is.

No matter what you have done, are doing or what you are caught up in. There is only one thing you can do that God will just say, "I give up on you". That one thing is walking away from Him. God gives us 2, 3, 100, 1000 chances. He never gives up, as long as we continue to follow and move towards Him. If your caught in an addiction. It most likely isn't just going to go away. Its part of who we have become, and it will take time, it may take many times or many years to get rid of it.


Part of the Good news about His love. People ask why Jesus hasn't returned to earth as promised yet. It isn't because he doesn't exist. The reason? He is waiting for us. He wants as many people possible to come to know Him, to be cleansed, for their broken lives to be fixed, and to serve him better. And in waiting, more and more people daily choose to follow Him. That's why He waits. He truly wishes for all to come to Him. To accept His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness. He waits for us to overcome our addictions and our stupid selves. To realize that it's not about us.

Most people fall away from God because they feel as though he hates them, is full of wrath and anger, or don't understand How a good God could let terrible things happen. Hate and Anger? Nothing is farther from the truth, and bad things happen because of sin, evil and the free will we are given.

But, should you choose to walk away from God and want nothing to do with him that is your choice. He gives you that choice. That's how much He loves you. He could have created us to demand that we love Him, but because He loves us, He gave us free will. BUT KNOW THIS.. when you die, having chosen to walk away from Him on earth, then, and only then will you see His wrath. You will be judged, you will be found guilty and just as you chose on earth, He will condemn you to live eternally separated from Him. And now, in your death you finally know that God does exist. Its now too late and YOU WILL live in an eternal hell of separation. And YOU WILL mourn deeply over it FOREVER. Eternity never ends.



The phrase "For the Love of God" is usually used to express extreme annoyance, frustration, surprise, indignation or urgent pleading.
For me, it is simply knowing the love of God.

Coming to know Christ has filled me with a great love, but yet also has filled me with a great sadness.

In Chapter 9 of the Book of Romans. The apostle Paul anguishes that his fellow Jewish friends and family don't believe in the Messiah; the Savior. That they don't see it. That their hearts are hardened. He anguishes over it so much, that he pleads for his salvation to be taken so that they may be saved.

I find myself when in crowds lately, thinking to myself, how sad it is that most, if not all those in the crowd don't know the Glory of knowing or wanting to know Jesus Christ. It saddens me knowing that most people just don't care to know. Or maybe they have heard the incomplete and totally wrong story of who Jesus truly is, thereby could care less, don't believe or don't really know what it means to their eternal future.

I believe that it is innately in all of us that we do know there is a God, but most have chosen to harden their hearts so much to the fact, that the truth is just too far suppressed within them. Everyone does know within themselves, and ALL are welcome to know him. And I thank God that I do. I get it. I have been there. Thinking we are all that. It's all about me. Honestly... it's not.

It just makes life better to know that I am loved. That I don't have to do anything to earn that love.... It's a free gift. He brings us from shame to Honor. God; who is the King, invites us all to eat at his table, as if we were his sons and daughters. Adopting us into his family to enjoy all the perks that only a Kings family could partake in.

I find myself surrounded by my Christian family 3-4 times a week and I can honestly say, that I don't think I have ever been more fulfilled, then when I am with those who have the love of God and Christ within them. Oh sure.. I have been in groups of people I know and had fun (usually in a drunken state) but never did I feel a true sense of love or sense of being, then I do when in a Christian setting surrounded by the love of God.
Having spent the last few months in our Bible Study Group studying the Book of Romans, I am finally coming to the full understanding of just how God's love truly is unconditional and relentless and that nothing can separate us from his love. Romans 8:31-39

He has no favorites. He loves all equally. He loves us even if we don't believe in Him, He loves the dictators. He loves the terrorists. He loves the murderers. He loves the kidnappers. He loves the addicted. and best of all HE LOVES YOU. He loves you in your worst moments as much as he does in your best. He loves us in our worst of sin. He loves you if you promised not to fall into a sin again, and do. He loves us so much that he sent his only son to die for us, to pay for our debt for all the stupid things we do to ourselves, to each other, to all living things and even to the earth; so that we may live.

The shed blood of Jesus covers up our sin. Jesus and his blood cover us, so that when God looks down on us, Jesus gets in the way and God can't see our sin. Its as if it was never there and as if we never sinned. Now that doesn't give us the license to sin. We should be trying not to sin, and if we again do fall into that sin, Thank God that we can fall down on our knees and ask for forgiveness. I find it amazing that when I sin and should want to turn away from God because I let him and myself down, I actually fall down on my knees crying to God in sorrow at how wretched I am, but being able to Glorify him and to thank him that he still loves me and forgives me.

Think about that. Do you have a healthy parent, a sibling, a friend, anyone in your life that you would let die so that someone else could be saved? Someone that you would turn to and say, "I am sorry, but I am going to have to let you be put to death, so that you can pay for the stupidity of these other people". I don't and I couldn't. That is love.

All He has asked us to do is have faith, to believe in the death of Jesus Christ on the cross for us, and to love one another, unconditionally, just as he does for us. What is so difficult about that? Why is it that so many people find it so hard to do or believe?

Did you know that to Love Your Neighbor is one of the Bible's most repeated commands? Here is just a few of them: Mark 12:31, Leviticus 19:18, Luke 6:27, Matthew 22:36-40, Luke 10: 25-37, Romans 15:2, Matthew 19:19, John 15:12, 1 John 4:21, James 2:8, John 15:10-12, 1 John 3:23

If we could show the unconditional love of Christ for all; regardless of someones addictions, lifestyles, quirks, beliefs or unbelief's, what a change we could make in this world. No longer would Christians be seen as hateful, hypocritical, judgmental human beings. Perhaps, just perhaps more people would want to be a part of us and want to believe in the God that deserves to be Glorified for all His goodness. In Jesus that wants to save.

Isn't it funny how we Christians teach to love all as your own, and not to judge, yet we are the worst at this then almost anyone else. This has truly hurt multitudes of people and multitudes have chosen to walk away, to be no part of Religion, God or Christ ever again.

I do still get hurt by the church. Being told that I can't be a leader. Feeling that there are parts of church service that I won't be able to partake in, because of who I am. Gay. In the realm of things.. that is small potatoes. I didn't choose to follow Christ so I could do that stuff. I chose to follow because I want to live, to breathe, to truly be 100% free and forgiven. To be surrounded by those who choose the same. I choose to live with him eternally. That's the big picture. I try to keep telling myself to stop getting caught up in the little things. Besides.. wanting to be a leader is probably my earthly pride trying to step in, so I can be seen as someone who matters.

Perhaps this judgement and hypocrite stuff could be the reason for such people as those whose only thought in life is to kill Christians. Perhaps this is the reason these people and terrorists have become so disillusioned with us. And as terrible as these people can be, we actually should be praying for them. For a change of heart. For a realization within them, that what they are doing is not for God and it is wrong.

God does have a perfect plan for all of this though and thru such terrible things such as these he chooses to use that to work out a more perfect plan. I read an article the other day that although ISIS/ISIL is killing Christian's, that actually more Muslims and non-believers are turning to and becoming Christians. How crazy is that? They are being threatened to be killed for being Christian, but yet they see how the Muslim religion has been so far misrepresented that they can no longer be associated with it and find Jesus.. How beautiful is that.

I know that I have kind off gone of tangent here, but my whole point here is that God is Good all the time. He is all loving and all forgiving. If you don't know who Jesus is, get to know him and then study the Book of Romans with someone. It is an up and down book of the Bible, but if you truly study it with others, it is so full of good news and revelations it will blow your mind.

Do no fear God. He wants you to enjoy a life filled with abundance. With unfailing love. He loved us before we were born. He knew who we would become and how we would mess everything up while we were yet unborn. That's the reason for Christ, Our Savior.

If you don't know him. For the Love of God. Please do. The journey to redemption can be hard at times, but it is the long road worth taking.

I love you my friend.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Remind you of a song? Yup.. The song was written and recorded by English punk rock band the Clash in 1981. How perfect a name for a post about Struggling. The clash of being good or evil. The clash to do bad when you really just want to be good. The song says, "if I go there will be trouble. If I stay there will be double. Oh how those words ring true in a Christian life.

Never did I think that being a Christian would be so difficult. I was under the belief that everything would be bright and beautiful. Little did I know it would be more difficult then before. Before it didn't matter.

If you read my last post, you know that I have been struggling with my good old friend depression again. Most of it was brought on by another evil friend of mine. Sin. The uncontrolled selfish sinful side of my life called lust, desire, temptation and giving in. I prayed and prayed for God to take the desire away from me to no avail. Why couldn't God just give this one to me? Why is this sin constantly in my head. Why won't He just take the desire away from me?

For the last few weeks I have been going through this tug-of-war with my self and God. Not wanting God, but knowing I need Him. Loving God but being so angry with Him. Wanting to walk away from God, but wanting more of Him. Believing that Jesus died for the sin of everyone....but mine. I was riddled yet again with guilt, failure, disappointment and the fear of lost salvation. I truly believed that God had left me, that He didn't care for me and could care less about my prayers or concerns.
Then I saw these words on another bloggers page, "God responded to me. Why would I spare you trials in this life, if I didn't even spare my own son". Now I feel like a complete idiot.

It's so true how deep down inside of us we know that, but our brain and our heart don't connect the data and we end up being all muddled. We as humans are born into a sin nature and it's just in our blood to want to do those things that are bad for us. As crazy as it seems, if your sin bothers you.. That's good. You admit you need to be saved from it.

Just as Paul says in the bible

God also strangely brought me back in to Romans Chapter 7 which our home group just studied, and how perfectly that I am leading Chapter 8 in home group next week. Isn't it strange how I was led to lead this chapter, as it spoke so directly to me in this very moment of my life.

Nothing good we do can make God love us any more, and nothing bad we do can ever make God love us any less. Hardships, persecutions, famines and dangers will come, but in Romans, Paul says, that these sufferings do not in any way imply that God's love has fled.

So here's the thing... There is only one reason I became and remain a Christian.
It isn't because its a cure for depression, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, anger, lust, sex, on and on. Although, I do thank God for taking some of these away from me instantly over night and never having gone back. One day, all these scars we earn here, will be treasured like medals in heaven.

I am a Christian because I believe in God. I always have. I just had the bible interpreted to me all wrong in the past. I believe the word of God. I believe in Jesus Christ. Not as just a prophet or a messenger, but as the true savior. The one and only person who saves us from our sin. The one and only; through whom we go to receive the eternal reward. Because I choose to have faith & believe that thru him and only thru him do we get to heaven.



I know what people say about the Bible. How can you believe the Bible when it states that slavery is okay. Incest was okay. That you shouldn't eat this or that. You shouldn't wear this or that.. this is right when it should be wrong. This is wrong when it should be right. Evolution versus Creation. We could go on for days.
People often take the bible out of context. They take on a scripture or a chapter and misconstrue it to fit their own ridiculous agenda. The bible has to be read in whole and wholly understood.

The truth of the matter is, we struggle. That's just the way it is. The nature that we were born into. It always is and always will be, until the return of Jesus himself to make it all the way it was to be. And now that we are Christian, we are more aware of our sin and because we are more aware of it, we struggle more with it, then we would as non-believers.

Here are a quite a few things to ponder when you hit the struggle to continue in faith.
There are over forty verses in the New Testament that specifically emphasize the death of Jesus "for us", in the place of us, as a substitute for us. Here are just a few to ponder:

while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us [Romans 5:8]
Christ suffered for us [1 Peter 3:18]
Jesus was a propitiation for our sins [1 John 4:10]
This is my body/blood given for you [Luke 22:20]
God made him who had no sin, become sin for us [2 Corinthians 5:21]
Christ became a curse for us [Galatians 3:13]
Christ Jesus who gave himself as a ransom for all [1 Timothy 2:6]
Christ loved us and gave himself up for us [Ephesians 5:2]
By the grace of God he might taste death for us [Hebrews 2:9]
He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours only, but for the sins of the whole world [1 John 2:2]

God is completely for us, and so not against us. We will groan in agony at how wretched we are, but with faith and hope in what's to come, our Savior Jesus Christ rubs our bodies and our wounds with his blood, washing it away and washing us clean, forgetting our sin, clothing us in white and calling us heirs to His thrown.
These struggles are difficult as we go through them, and how fast we forget (I have even blogged about it before) that in the end, our struggle make us stronger. Why is that?

Because our struggles cause us to be humble. To kneel down and ask for forgiveness. To pray for more of God. To thank him for all he has done and will do in our lives, and most of all to thank Him for loving us so much that he didn't even spare his own child to die for us.

Besides.. this is not all about us. It's all about the Glory of God.
God's affection and actions for us precede any response we offer. They are not conditioned on our being for him. God's gifts are given without conditions or strings attached. That is Grace, and having tasted the the Lord is good, we will willingly want to give our all to him.

We have a great God to love, and we have a great cause to love God.

My Depression-My Broken Pride-My Broken Self

What a tough week this has been for me. I reached the end of my rope and sadness and with that I ended up cursing God at the top of my lungs, hating him, and telling him that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. But when I look back on it now, I wonder if I was just really more upset with myself or am I truly angry with him. I really thought and expected to be so much further in my walk with him, then I am. Part of my anger. And really.. deep within my heart, I knew and he knew that I really didn't mean what I was saying. It was all just major frustration. But it was uncalled for and never should have crossed my thoughts or lips.

Really, It's a bit of anger on both sides. But mostly on my side and as we all do, needing to take it out on someone else. Our pride gets the best of us. I'll be honest and I'll be upfront as I know many are struggling with the same thing. I still struggle with pornography, and that of course leads to thoughts of wanting to take it further which would lead to major destruction and penalties. Although it's not the daily struggle that it used to be, I do still struggle with this about once a week. It sickens me and it disgusts me.

I have prayed, prayed, prayed and even pleaded with God, over and over and over to please just take the desire away from me. Obviously that isn't working.. So I let it all out at him. Screaming at the top of my lungs," Why won't you take this away from me!!"  Seems like we give the brunt of all our anger to God for not fixing us, instead of screaming at Satan for not leaving us alone.

I just don't understand it all really. If He wants us all to be saved and truly does love us, why would he not take it away, or not allow us to be tempted by the evil one, if he knows where that behavior could lead us? I do know that when I give in, I immediately ask for forgiveness and continually turn back to Him. After all, where else would I go?  And then of course, I cry and thank him for his payment of my debt. Perhaps that's the only point He has right now. To make me see how much I/We really need Him. I do know that God is for us.. He is not laughing at us, or mad at us.. His interest really is what is best for us.

What is really strange, is I have found that when I wake up in the morning and tell Satan, "You are not going to get me today" that seems to be the day that I eventually end up giving in. Obviously when I call it out to him, he attacks me even harder. So I now am just going to give it to God. What happens, happens.

These last few weeks of giving in and not being able to control it, has sent me back into depression, which as we all know, has been the big topic this week due to Robin Williams suicide. Mind you, I am not in the deep and unrelenting depression that I had been in the past, but I do have the attitude that I just want to die. Just want to be done with it all. I honestly just hate it on this earth. NO.. I am not suicidal, but I really just want to be done with this world, which just seems to get worse and worse, and move forward to that better place reserved for me.

I keep asking myself, "Are you really depressed or just upset with yourself". How can you possibly be so depressed? You live a very blessed and quite easy and kick back life. Not having to worry about paying the bills, you have a roof over your head. You have all the things that you could want or need. You have plenty of food on the table. It's not like you live in a country where you are being kicked out of your home for being Christian, the threat of decapitation, torture, slavery, hunger, etc.... You have water, electricity, Air Conditioning and Heat..

That's what depression is. It just is. I can't really tell you what brings it on. It.... just is and it.... just does. It isn't something you can control. Its feeling alone when your not, feeling unloved, even when everyone tell you they love you. Having no energy to do anything. Its staring at the television in a fetal position and not really paying attention to what your watching. Its your mind in a state of thinking yet thinking of nothingness. Its not caring about anything at all.. not even yourself. It's a ball and chain that has you wrapped up in its links of bondage and holding you down or keeping you within its reach with all its weight.

There were quite a few hateful comments, even from people I knew, about Robin Williams and his suicide. That he was a chicken shit for taking the easy way out. Even on twitter, people belittled and harassed his daughter due to his suicide. She had to delete all her social media and to stop reading her email.

If you haven't dealt with depression. You have no right to judge it. You DON"T understand it, but you need to.

If you have dealt with depression yourself and not thru someone you know and still thought Robin Williams was Chicken Shit, then you didn't experience deep depression. And if you did, my apologies, but you should know better then to criticize.

Ben Irwin who is another blogger I read, had posted this below, and I couldn't state it  any better:

I don’t know what it’s like to seriously contemplate, much less attempt, suicide.
So what on earth would compel me to think I have the right to judge someone who has?

I can’t “stomach the thought of suicide” either (to use the words of a certain, notoriously offensive blogger). But that doesn’t give me the right to dismiss or diminish the experiences of those who can. Just the opposite. The fact that I can’t should be all the reminding I need that I have NO CLUE what it’s like to walk in their shoes.
So maybe I should just shut up and listen instead.

Take a few moments to read some of the tweets that people have shared this week using the #faithinthefog hashtag started by @lukeharms. Listen to their stories.
Read this post by Nish Weiseth in which she shares her own experience with depression and suicide. Or this one by Sarah Moon. Or this one by R.L. Stollar. If you are like me, then the fact that you can’t fully understand or relate to their stories is why you need to hear them.

Remember… depression is not “sin.” It is not a “spiritual issue.” The answer to depression or thoughts of suicide is not simply to “pray more” or “be more spiritual” or just “will yourself out of it.” To quote R.L. Stollar, “Mental health is as real and concrete as physical health and needs to be treated as such.”

Remember… those of us who don’t have direct experience with this kind of depression don’t have any framework for making sense of it. And the ones we construct are almost always misguided or wrong. To quote Nish Weiseth:

Depression is a clinically-diagnosed mental illness… It’s not selfish to struggle with depression. It’s not a lack of understanding about God and his creation. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Those who don’t struggle with depression, who don’t feel the ongoing darkness… they try to understand and make sense of it. Label it as selfish and the easy way out. Call the suicidal “cowards.” But that’s not the mind of a person in the grips of unrelenting darkness. When depression corners you like that, it makes you believe that suicide is joy. Suicide is relief. And in some instances, it makes you think that suicide is a blessing or a gift to others. It can feel like the brave and noble thing to do.

Depression is a terrible thing, like Nish said. But what’s even more terrible is to condemn or dismiss rather than support those who experience it. To chalk it up to a lack of faith on their part or a lack of dependence on God or whatever. To ignore the very real physical and chemical causes of (and treatments for) depression. To say it’s a “spiritual” issue, as if spirit and body are two separate things—as if one matters and the other doesn’t. (Hello, Gnosticism.)

Remember… if we haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes, then the best thing we can do is to follow Micah J. Murray’s advice and simply shut up and listen.

And if we say anything at all, may it be: You are good. You are loved. And we are here with you, no matter what.

Thru all my anger, yelling, hatred, depression and feeling sorry for myself; I have once again been put in my place.

I humbly bowed down and asked God and Jesus for forgiveness. To forgive my Anger. To forgive my pride. To forgive my stupidity. To forgive my unbelief. To give me the fervor to follow Jesus that I once had.

I know that God's Love is unrelentless, and as he has done, more times then I truly deserve. He Loves me. He Forgives me. He Gives me unfathomable Grace and He gives me His endless Mercy.

I shouldn't hate this life. He gave it to me for a reason. I just haven't found it yet. Maybe there is nothing to be found. Maybe it's just to be me. Maybe its not this big wonderful thing that I am meant to do, like I see in so many others at church.

And although I would like to live on this earth without this sin so I can have peace and freedom while here. I need to Just be me. Try to be good. Try to love. Try not to judge. Try not to get all caught up in being what I feel I should be. I may fail and I may fall, but one way or another; whether it be on this earth or in death. My sin will be overcome.

I am Christian - I am Gay - I'm a Rebel

Back in the 60's when I was a child, religion was a normal part of the American life and a rebel was known as those who defied the norm. Rebels were those who disobeyed their parents, defied curfews, cussed, sneaked out of the house, fought against the government, did drugs, smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol underage, sex underage and outside of marriage, danced to rock-n-roll, got tattoos, grew their hair long, skipped church, wore risque clothes, fought for gay rights, etc etc...

Here we are 50 years later and all that was rebellious in my day, has now become the normal way of life. Nobody seems to care if you engage in any of those that I had mentioned above. In fact in this day and age, those who commit crimes and murder are seen as heroes by some. Arrogance, Pride, Self love, treating others with disrespect and wanting to be famous for nothing just seems to have escalated and become a way of life.

Today, to be a Christian is to be a true Rebel. And don't even get me started on how much of a Rebel it takes to be a Gay Christian. I am treated as if I am dissing another entire community. Being a Christian and letting it be known to everyone is certainly not for the coward.

Christianity and the belief in God. The very thing that our Nation was founded on, is being taken away. Fought against in our government. The right to talk about God or even to say his name has been taken out of our schools and public places. Our pledge of allegiance is seen as an abomination.

God knew what our nation could become and because we invested in Him, He invested in us. He made us a great nation of wealth, freedom and power. God used to be on our side. Just as mentioned in the Bible many times, those who stood with God, even though they were far outnumbered by their enemy's were able to conquer. And because we got down on our knees as a nation and prayed to God he watched over us continually. But we now know, that time could come to an end.

The enemy is now able to penetrate us from within and create havoc as they have never been able to do before.

Today, our prayer is taken out of everything. Ten commandments are being removed, Bibles are not allowed to be read anywhere but in the privacy of your own home. Our Arrogance, Pride and doing only what we want to do is coming back to haunt us. Our country is going down the wrong road. Because we have put our pride and arrogance in the place of God. And if you read the Bible, you can see that this was foretold thousands of years ago.

So what does it take to be a rebel in today's world?

• To attend church regularly
• To pray; and even bolder to pray in public
• To read the Bible
• To Believe in God
• To Believe in Jesus as Savior
• To follow Jesus
• To love EVERYONE... even those who choose to be your enemy
• To put our Pride aside and be Humble
• To Obey the Laws that God gave us
• To Obey the Laws of the Government
• To Keep our minds clean
• To abstain from lustful and hateful thoughts
• To abstain from sexual thoughts and acts outside of marriage
• To Give to and Help Others..
• To Teach the Word of God to others

In the current state of our world, most of these are the very reason that in other countries, people are persecuted, tortured and put to death. It scares me to know, that this is the very same road that this country is going. And it was all foretold.

I am a true believer that God created this universe and everything on and in it. That mankind became so sinful, that he had to come down to earth as a whole separate man, to live, and to be tempted with sin just as we are, so that he could fully understand how and why it affects us. And then to pay for all our sin, He, as Jesus Christ was arrested, persecuted and put to death for absolutely nothing other then to pay for our sin. He was guiltless. He hadn't committed any crime whatsoever. He was put to death by those who were so full of pride and arrogance that they just couldn't see the truth of who He really was, and couldn't handle the fact that he truly was far superior then they. That He was the true King.

I also believe in a life after death, and that there is a heaven and a hell or separation from God. I choose heaven and that means that I have to Rebel to the norm of today's world, to obey his commands and try to be like him.

I do not doubt for one minute that should you choose to live as you wish in this world, choose to live your own way, and choose not to have a full belief or a full faith in God and Jesus Christ, that you will get your wish when you die. God isn't going to force anyone that doesn't want to be with Him, to be with Him. He created us, and that is His right to do so.

Let it be known, that you cannot and will not get to heaven by trying to be a good person. Some of which I wrote about in previous posts about the "Guilty and sinful person being set free" and "Do Good People go to Heaven" As always. I don't tell you this or write about it because I am judging you or by any means that I am better than you. I am just like you. I am just a human. I tell you because I love you, and God commands us to spread the truth. To tell others about the Good News.

Why do I say I want to be a Christian Rebel? Well, I am a Christian so I am a rebel, but I am by far not the 100% true rebel that I would like to be. I still struggle with and give in to some of those items that I mentioned above.

My goal? To become a much better person. And although I can never be as perfect and far from his goodness, having His huge grace and endless mercy, I yearn to be like Jesus Christ. He only angered when he saw true injustice, which we have way to much of in this world.

Need more good news? Justice will finally be served to those who today, only live to persecute, enslave, torture and kill those who are weaker or choose to live different. Everything will be made new and right. The way it was originally meant to be. That is the hope that even thru my miserable failings at not always doing what is right, "In God We Trust". The very words chosen in the beginning of our country because of our very religious sentiment during the civil war to be placed on our dollar bills and chump change. You have to believe it and trust. Otherwise this dismal state that we are in and going down in this country and world would be very hopeless.

Can Setting Free a Man Found to be 100% Guilty, Ever Be Justified?

In the Eye's of God. The answer to that Question is a 100%... YES

Have you seen the show, "Ripley's-Believe it or Not? We are given a story line that seems fake, yet could be believable, and your left with the question, can this really be true?. What I am about to tell you is not only true; but like all of Ripley's fun, weird and crazy facts, and just as the banner above states, it is also Outrageous, Amazing, Unbelievable, Bizarre, Incredible, Unconventional, and most all, is hard to wrap our heads around.

Our home group has been studying the Book of Romans and although we have only gotten up to Chapter 6 and I personally Chapter 8 at the time of this blog, I have immersed myself in it. By my title of this post, you can tell that the book of Romans has become my favorite book of the Bible.  I have listened to nearly 100 sermons, read much about it on the internet, and read different bible versions of Romans. And after all of this searching, reading and listening, I know that I haven't even scratched the service. And I most certainly won't be able to explain all that I have learned thus far here in this one post.

If you haven't read the Bible and don't know where to start or don't know much about what Christianity is all about. This is the one Book of the Bible where you should start. It is a good summary of what Christianity is all about. The first few chapters are a little difficult to get through and at first you think.. Oh Man.. we are in trouble and God is definitely not happy with us AT ALL!!! Hold on and don't get all freaked out.. The Good News is coming just a few chapters in.


It was hard to figure out what was I was reading and I came upon a great website that took me chapter by chapter and even by a few verses at a time and gave me a much better understanding. It is a wealth of information, and will take you weeks to get thru it all, but highly recommended.

You, Me & Every single person on this earth from past, present or future is a sinner,  not one person is found to be righteous or good. Not one person is perfect, other than Jesus Christ. We have all angered God and we all deserve his judgement. But we all have an equal chance to be found good and righteous in his eyes. We must use this chance while we are still here, or unfortunately it will be too late.

There is only one way to be found righteous. I am sure you have heard or been told and you think that just by being a good person, you will go to heaven. As long as your good outweighs the bad. But how much good outweighs the bad? and what is considered bad? According to the Bible, nobody is good enough to get into heaven and you CAN NOT do anything or enough on your own to get there.  Again, we CANNOT gain our way into heaven by trying to be good, following all the rules, obeying all the laws or by trying to do enough of the good things.

You might read the first few chapters of Roman's and think to yourself, who is God that he should tell me how to live my life? It sounds to me like he is always angry. Well He is not. We all have terrible thoughts like this sometimes. That's another reason we are sinners. It's pretty obvious that God created us and so therefore, God gets to give us law and gets to make the rules. He is our Father. And just like your earthly father. Your earthly father in a way, created you, and as a child he made the rules for you to follow. And why does he give you rules. Because he loves you, wants to protect you, and wants only what is best for you. And just like God, your father's love is unconditional. Besides, God doesn't live in a space of time and therefore see's and knows everything and how it all fits together. Everything whether it be good or bad, will eventually, sometime in the end work out for the best and He knows the consequences of not following his rules.

I mean think about it... Thou Shalt not Steal, Thou Shalt not Kill, Thou Shalt not Commit Adultery, Honor they Father and Mother. We even have laws pertaining to these in our current society. And why? Well let's see.. breaking these can lead to jail, divorce, sexual diseases, unwanted children, broken lives, broken limbs, paralysis, death, on and on.. It just makes sense to follow the rules. Keeping the law keeps us from harm and out of trouble.

The major problems we have on this earth are a direct result of us as humans not keeping the laws whether it be God's or the governments. So if we aren't saved by keeping the law then what was the purpose of giving it to us? The Law exposes our sin and shows that we are sinners who need to be saved. That we need a Savior. There is absolutely nothing we can do to be righteous. We can't be justified by merit, or achievements. And trying to achieve thru works only creates more debt to be paid. Only Christ is the Doer of the Law and thru him, the Wrath or judgement of God can’t harm or touch you. No Faith, No Salvation, No Justification.
 
We also don't gain our way into heaven by going to church, reading the bible, being a certain religion, praying every day and night, serving others, keeping the Ten Commandments (or the law), following the legalistic ways of our church, doing good works, etc... etc... etc...  The only reason we should do good works and try to obey the Ten Commandments (the law) is because it pleases God. And besides, there are always others who need our help. And it makes us feel good as well.  By doing these things we show God how much we love him and appreciate what he has given us and what he has done for us to allow us to be found righteous and justified to enter into, share, and enjoy his Kingdom for Eternity.

This is also why we go to church to worship him, to pray to him, to be baptized, to take communion. He asked and we enjoy in doing this for him. So what did God do for us that allows us to gain entrance to heaven? To be found righteous and good? What does it take?

These few favorite verses of mine, sum up what it and Christianity is all about.. read: Romans 3:21-31 I used the Message version here for better understanding.
Did you understand it? So after having read those verses, what are we asked to do to enter into heaven?.. Believe and have Faith. We should believe and fully admit that we are all sinners. And because God wanted to put everything right, what he did and was able to do is hard for our tiny little minds to understand. It is quite difficult to believe that it is possible and to wrap around how God could also be human. Two separate beings, yet the same. Christianity also adds in the Holy Spirit, which is what we call the Trinity... So God is actually three separate beings, yet the same. What did he do?

God himself came to earth as a fully separate man (Jesus Christ) and was born to a virgin mother. Why a virgin? Because it would be an infinite miracle. One that would ever happen again or had never happened before. It proved that he was something special. There were also 100's of prophecy's that foretold His birth, His death & life hundreds of years before any of it took place. Here is what He did:

He  (Jesus Christ) being
totally innocent ,sinless,
totally perfect and pure,
having  broken no laws;
100% guiltless of crime,
was betrayed, abandoned, ridiculed, was beaten, slapped, kicked, & spit on.
thorns  driven in his head, he could barely walk, but made to carry his cross
thru a town full of mockers, no friends to be found in the crowd & up a hill.
Was nailed to a cross with sturdy nails, thru both of his hands and both feet
he  was lifted high up into the air,
and left  there to die in loneliness
with the weight of his entire body
held by the nails within his hands.
The weight causing all  his organs
to  slowly shut down and causing
his organs to fail, cramp & spasm
not been given anything to drink,
also dying of extreme dehydration
and losing major amounts of blood
sweat and tears and to be sure that
he had died,he was pierced thru the
heart with a spear to confirm that He

TRULY WAS DEAD.

And for What?

For nothing other then to pay for our sins, to pay our debt in full, to fulfill the law, so that we would be made righteous. Lets not forget that He also arose three days later from death and ascended into heaven. We must believe that this happened and have Faith that in this belief and the free gift of grace from God, that we are guaranteed salvation. We are justified and found to be righteous. Now good enough to get into heaven.

If you don't believe that we need a savior. Watch the news and look around.. This world is fallen, and just keeps getting worse. It isn't going to get better. The murder, mayhem, mass shootings, torture of innocent people, arrogant tyrants, and corrupt leaders in every nation is getting beyond the point of stopping. We most definitely need someone to step in and make it all right.

This free gift is offered to all. Even for those who identify as Homosexual? Yes...All are welcome. All are equal. All who believe, All who come to him and have faith will be saved. In fact Faith is so important that Chapters 3-8 all discuss Faith, salvation and no condemnation for all those who are in Christ Jesus. This is a free gift and although it should be relatively easy, it is hard for us to believe. We are so filled with pride that we keep trying to earn our way into heaven.

As I said earlier. There is nothing you can do to earn your entrance into heaven other then believe and have faith. No amount of works, no matter how good or how many hours you put into it, will earn your entry. In fact, there are two kinds of religion. There are the DO religions and the Done religion. Notice that I made the DO religion's plural versus the DONE religion?

Every religion, except Christianity believes that certain things must be done or not done to gain entrance into the Kingdom of God. They are under the notion that you must wear certain clothing, go to temple, go to a mass, must pray five times a day, must confess sins to a priest, must do more good things then bad, must partake in rituals of the church, on and on and on.. they believe that salvation is "earned" by the things you do. Christianity is a “Done” religion.

We could frame it this way: The Living Bible puts Romans 3 verse 28 this way: “So it is that we are saved by faith in Christ and not by the good things we do.” Thank God, it is true.

Salvation comes by simple faith in Jesus—plus nothing and minus nothing. Those who transfer their trust to the Son of God are saved immediately and forever. Here is a tremendous truth to ponder. One God … one way of salvation. Don’t let anyone tell you that God has two ways of salvation. Salvation has always been by grace through faith. It’s the same in every dispensation—Old Testament, New Testament, under the law, before the law, after the law. Salvation is always by grace through faith. It is never through works. No one has ever been saved by good works; no one will ever be saved that way.

It’s faith alone—first, last and always. For all who believe. Every race, every country, every culture, every person..and everyone must come the same way. Some claim that we can lose our salvation. That might be true if at some point in time, you decide that Jesus and God don't exist, or decide that you can purposely keep sinning it up, so to say. who knows, but what would have been the purpose to save us from even our future sins if we could lose it?

You have two choices... to believe it or not.. Believe and have faith in the finished work of Jesus on the cross that he paid your debt in full and have eternal life in heaven.... I shudder to even think of the other possibility. If your not worshiping Jesus (my opinion) you are not worshiping the one & true God.

I have always doubted that I was worthy of being saved, and I would go from believing it one day, to doubting it the other 6 days. I feel that God has finally spoken to me thru the book of Romans and is telling me that thru him, I am worthy, so I have finally chosen to change my mind frame from self defeating to fully believing.

I pray that today you choose also to believe. If you have been reading my past posts, you know that I get you. You know that I understand your pain. You know that I understand your hatred towards religion & those within it that tear you down, & your anger at God. But I now know different, and this is why I blog. To show you my journey from hatred & anger to a joy in Christ. To share what I have learned. That God is so not angry at only "FAGS". He is angry at all who sin. All sin is equal. Homosexuality is no worse a sin then anything else. Choose to believe today. Find a church and choose to be surrounded by those who believe. If you want to know more about Christianity, the resurrection, Jesus and God click the dollar bill at the top left of this page and learn more.

Remember that we should turn away from sin. There will be struggles with sin and life... it was never said that it would be easy... in fact, it is my experience that trying to live a christian life, especially as a Gay man.. is a really difficult and constant struggle. And it is really tough when you hear other Christians say that Gay and Christianity don't mix. You can't be Gay and Christian. That my friends is pure......  and don't believe everything you hear. Even God himself said that everything he created was good. Including you and Me. His unconditional love and forgiveness is open to ALL!!

There is a time to struggle. Sometimes people come to Christ and then we get upset because things don’t go well for us. We get upset because we have relationship difficulties, financial difficulties, personal difficulties, emotional difficulties, marital difficulties, problems in different areas in life. We get discouraged, we get disillusioned, we get angry with God and wonder what’s wrong with us. Usually, there’s nothing deeply wrong with you if you’re going through a period of struggle.

It’s just part of what it means to live on this earth. When Jesus saved you, he didn’t say he would take away all your problems. No, but he did say this. In your problems, there is no condemnation. In your struggles, there is no condemnation, in your failure, there is no condemnation. In your going astray, there is no condemnation. God is not angry with you when you struggle. It’s not just that we fail, but we condemn ourselves when we fail. It’s not just that we struggle, but we get angry at ourselves because we’re not perfect. We heap this huge load of guilt on ourselves and we transfer it all to God and we think God must hate us because we hate ourselves so much because of what we’ve done. It’s not true at all.

 What does God do when we fail? He helps us back up, he tells us where we went wrong, and he puts us back in the game.

 
Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.